urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything And Remember... ive given up 2005-04-24T07:02:39Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:23879 2005-04-24T07:02:39Z 2005-04-24T07:02:39Z Ever Been Called...<br /><br />Dumb?: not usually<br />Retarded?: jokingly<br />Ugly?: nope<br />Hot?: yes<br />Fat?: never<br />Anorexic?: jokingly<br />A waste of space?: i called myself that a bit ago<br />Useless?: more than likely <br />Smelly?: hah<br />A Slut?: no<br />Beautiful?: yes<br />Smart?: yes<br />Quiet?: by people im shy around<br />Boring?: havent heard that one<br />A Bitch?: no<br />Rebel?: i could use that title<br />Conceited?: i dont think so<br /><br />Currently<br /><br />What are you wearing?: black on black cold world longsleeve and black sweatpants<br />Who are you talking to?: noone<br />How is the weather?: rainy and cold<br />What are you listening to?: dashboard confessional<br />What/Who are you thinking about?: i just wrote about rachel<br />What are you looking forward to? long nights and days with the one i love<br />What are you dreading?: time apart<br />How are you feeling?: i feel a little anxious, a little worried, a little hopeful<br />How is your hair?: it's seen better days<br />What are you annoyed by?: nothing right now<br />What emotion do you feel the most?: i have no clue, they're all crap<br />What songs make you cry? sometimes a lot of songs<br />What movies make you cry?: i don't watch them<br />What always cheers you up?: rachel, drives and loud songs<br />What makes you madder than anything?: myself<br />What hurts you the most?: letting people down<br />Who makes you happy?: rachel bauer, robert meadows<br />Depressed?: Ryan Matticola<br />Are you a really emotional person?: yes, yes and yes<br />What do you do when you're depressed?: this is a wierd one to answer, i dont know if im depressed anymore, but it's been a long time suffering<br />What song do you think was written about your life?: Dramarama - Anything, Anything (me and rachel's song)<br /><br />When Was The Last Time You..<br /><br />Burped?: never did it<br />Went to the movies?: it's been ages<br />Went out to eat?: i take my babe out a lot<br />Cried?: there was a period where i cried every day at least twice for 2 months straight<br />Threw up? long time ago<br />Went skating?: really long time ago<br />Got into a fight?: physical fight? terror show in allentown<br /><br />Issues<br /><br />Do you do drugs? no<br />Do you have a mental disablity/illness?: a lot of them <br />Are you on any medication for any type of disorder?: zoloft<br />Do you or have you ever had an eating disorder?: probably, who knows, i dont think so<br />What kinds of illnesses run in your family?: depression<br /><br />Who was the last person you...<br /><br />Talked to?: Rachel<br />Yelled at?: someone random<br />Kissed: Rachel<br />Hugged?: Rachel<br />Went out to eat with? Rachel<br />Talked to on the phone?: Rachel<br />IMed?: Stevie<br />E-Mail?: Rachel<br />Got flowers from?: Rachel<br />Danced with?: Rachel<br />Fought with? : not sure<br />Worried about?: Rachel<br />Cried over?: Rachel<br />Thought about?: Rachel bowser<br /><br />Are you...<br /><br />Understanding?: i'd say im more wise<br />Pretty?: that's not something for me to answer<br />Nice?: to the people who i give my time im the best<br />A bitch?: no<br />Confident?: it depends on what you're looking at really<br />Depressed?: well i was, for a really long time, now im getting that fixed<br />Hyper?: not now, im a bit sick<br />Friendly?: well i don't really think so<br />Hungry?: i think i am, but i dont feel it<br />Original?: very<br />Shy?: sometimes, but not usually<br />Emotional?: i was given them and i use them to the fullest extent<br />Messy?: oh of course<br />Immature?: at times<br />Sad?: at times<br />Trusting?: i have no clue<br />Sleepy?: right now i should be<br />Lonely?: yes<br />Independent?: i don't know anymore, ive always been very independent, but i found someone to live for<br />Romantic?: im the best, hands down<br /><br />Do You...<br /><br />Do you drink [alcohol]?: no<br />Do you party a lot?: no<br />Do you use drugs for recreational purposes? no<br />How often do you use the word "like" in an average hour?: never<br />Do you skip classes? no<br />Do you steal? no<br />Do you wear inappropriate clothing? no<br />Do you drool over celebrities? no<br />Do you watch a lot of TV?: no<br />Do you ever watch the news?: sometimes<br />Do you read books often?: no<br />Are you failing a lot of your classes?: no<br />Do you spend most of your time with your friends?: no, i try to though <br />Do you smoke cigarettes?: no<br />Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens: yes<br />Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: well, i love a girl so so much and it's definetly feeling like a crush<br />Do you cuss a lot?: sometimes<br />Are you desperate to fit in?: i'd rather not<br />Are you intelligent?: extremely<br />Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?: not as much as i should<br />Make-up?: no<br />Low-cut tops?: no<br />Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?: no<br />Giggle a lot?: no<br />YM, Teen, Cosmo, at all?: no<br /><br /><br />[In the last 24 hours, have you]<br /><br />Cried: no<br />Bought something: yes<br />Gotten sick: yes<br />Sang: yes<br />Eaten: yes<br />Been kissed: yes<br />Felt stupid: oh of course<br />Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: i always tell her<br />Met someone new: no<br />Talked to someone you have a crush on: i guess so<br />Had a serious talk: no<br />Missed someone: oh like you'd never believe<br />Hugged someone: i dont think so<br />Fought with your parents: no<br />Dreamed about someone you can't be with: i havent slept yet, so we won't count out what i wish to happen. :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:23728 2005-04-12T02:37:38Z 2005-04-12T03:44:40Z i miss the phone calls, i miss the kisses goodbye, i miss the little things like dinner and a movie, i miss the laughing and the constant talks, the nights with OME where we'd talk about ridiculous things, i miss always being asked to dig ditches, i miss those saturday nights in the room across the hall, i miss the wings, i miss q mart, i miss the city, i miss gianna's and all the places where i won't be eating alone, i miss the trampoline jumps, i miss being woken up in the morning by hammering on the roof, i miss getting phone calls at 2 am saying "goodnight my love", i miss the dairy farm and the paca's, even chocolate milk deer, i miss the drives to spook lane, i miss the way my hand felt when it was finger between finger being held so tight, i miss the little nicknames, i miss walmart parking lot, i miss reggie and the full effect followed by "A Great Artist" set to 24, i miss the filled spot in my bed, i miss being forced to eat right, i miss being rubbed to sleep, i miss the plans, i miss the companionship, i miss the love, i miss the love letters, i miss the hope, i miss the late nights, i miss the drives, i miss the mix cd's, i miss the anticipation, i miss the cookies and cakes we made for each other, i miss the late night tea cups, i miss the nervous words, i miss the new bands, i miss the way that she'd make her hair stick up in the back so it would look big and puffy and it would be down within 10 minutes, i miss the "r" necklace, i miss it all. <br /><br />i miss the little things, the little things that to me were the biggest parts of my day. sometimes i buy things for her, but ill never give them to her, or ill make them go away. sometimes i want to call, but i wont, sometimes i just want to be so close, but i can't, sometimes i just want to cry, so i do, sometimes i want to take back the time, but that will never happen, i want to believe, so i do, i want to do my best, but i shouldn't, sometimes i think this is going to be the death of me, but it's not. there will be time to time where ill cry myself to sleep at night, or ill say im going out and i stay at home and be upset, or there will be times where ill sit in her room and cry so hard that i can't breathe. it's not really me being as weak as i feel, it's me being as depleted as i should feel. sometimes i wont sleep, sometimes i will. this is just a hard time, the roughest of the rough. i just don't see this one panning out and riding into the sunset, things aren't that easy. i hope that things work out, im scared to death that they wont. it's so hard not to talk about these things, to find out where things are, how she feels, just anything to know that there is life in these lungs of love. it's so hard when i just want to hold her until she falls asleep and i know that if i try, she'll turn her shoulders and ill have to go before i get in trouble for crying too much. im so hit by all of this, it hurts so much, and i know she'll never see this. no one will, no one sees this, im pretty sure that the thing is broken so that no one can. but rachel please come back, everything will be fine. everything will be back to the way it should be.. all around. just please... let me take care of you. the girl of my dreams please don't let me wake up. she's so perfect.. so perfect. she's someone who i can't ever lose. man i'm crying on the keys of this computer, it's not a nice thing to do. i just miss her and i love her so much. much more than she'll ever know, although i think she does. my heart goes out to her in this time. i hope she runs with it, runs back to where she's safe. <br /><br />i'm so in love, i'm so deep on this, i just want this to work out right. <br /><br /><br /><br />god this hurts. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:23505 2005-03-02T15:21:15Z 2005-03-02T15:21:15Z a territory of broken limbs half enveloped in flame<br />a fallen sky and shattered legs lay on the ground<br />a shot runs from my chest to to her hands<br />the diluted spirit so beautiful and a lifeless body<br />so plentiful<br />a lesser man lies in the tall grass<br />can't you hear the knocking at your door<br />catagorize him by the hands he's left behind<br />a god of tounge manifested to stop the silence<br />they're such fridgid hands<br />they're hands not of this world<br />there is no one who smiles your smile when i say your name<br />explosions rape me of my legs<br />she used to set the night on fire urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:22882 2004-08-02T04:58:33Z 2004-08-02T04:58:33Z look how far we've fallen behind<br />so close to the start and this is where it ends<br />we've made it on our own<br />dont let "us" hold you down, we'll never make it face to face<br />im too afraid this makes amends and shows you how much ive grown<br />no one has to know<br />but there's just one problem, can i wish you to speak my mind on justifying leaving this place<br />you leave me here alone but at least ill admit im happier this way<br />believe me that im wrong, ill never be the happiest one<br />this idea of "us", we'll never leave you far behind.<br />at least youll be happy to be gone. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:22544 2004-07-22T16:32:30Z 2004-07-22T16:32:30Z The Well Runs Dry- new version<br /><br /><br />(spoken)<br />Sitting alone i can smell the stench rising from your letters..<br />Disgusting smells of blood dripping from the pages so craftily <br /> carved from my heart<br />(start after 2 measures)<br />Today is the day that i go to your room<br />Gently i wait for you to return, back to the place you come <br /> to call home<br />Away from me again...(drums)<br />I hide in your corner, never to be seen by uncaring eyes<br />You always saw right threw me, never once was i clear..(drums)<br /><br />The words going through my head of our favorite love songs<br />I know what is to come, i know what you have done<br />The phone rings and you start to laugh as you hear his voice<br /> through the soon dropped reciver<br />(music break)<br />So much pain destroys all the fun that you love to have<br />The fun that walked out my door, its time to close that door.<br />You tore me apart, you stole my dreams... my happiness and you put me,everything<br /> you put me in this hell i call my life.. i, i hate you, i hate you<br />She barely moved as i subdued her<br />(music break)<br />Sitting in front of me i begin to explain all the things going through <br /> my head since the day she left. <br />Slowly i start to dig into my chest with the bones from your arms<br />Finally we will die as one, we will die together....<br />Why isnt murder legal?<br />Because everybody would be fucking dead!<br /><br />(very fast grindish part)<br />I cocked her head back, choked and bloodied she said she loved me<br />I take her to no tommorow<br />I take her to her death<br /><br />There is no tommorow for her<br />She made me put me in this hell<br />I know this cant be happening<br /><br />She spit up blood into my lap as she coughed her last breath away<br />Into oblivion i love her <br />Until the day i die, will i call her my own<br /><br />(Bdown 1)<br />I like the poison that i take into my lungs of your deciet<br />Burning fast w/in myself my fingers wrap around your throat die...<br />Slowly she choked Slowly she died<br />One last time<br />I love her<br />She knows this<br />I hate her<br />She fears this<br /><br />(Pause)<br />Grind your self for Satan's wounds (low)<br />Brace yourself for the fall from above<br /><br />Destroy... my life<br />You always were my everything<br />You ran away from me......<br />Well (low)<br />Runs (low)<br />Dry (low)<br />you dont deserve the life you lead<br />Nothing is forever... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:22293 2004-04-07T16:52:37Z 2004-04-07T16:52:37Z i felt her legs move for the last time as they grazed my hands late in the morning<br />how id love to sever your heart out and rip the lungs from your dying chest<br />her breath fell silent and shook the leaves off the willow tree<br />it may have been the way she walked past the window or the stabbings in her abdomen that led me to believe there was another<br />these fears allow me to remain in silence but for what<br />it was the way you closed your eyes i knew that this was through <br />with pictures beneath you in tatters<br />our love has fallen apart<br />your necklace of rope seems to be shining in the light of morning urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:22071 2004-03-22T03:50:35Z 2004-03-22T03:50:35Z lets watch the world burn our chldren beg us to run with one life to live. we are the hopeless few. a laugh from the love in my life will keep the night from coming and trap those nightmares inside. we didnt want it this way, i could cut away what makes you mine, but she's walking away with all of our dignity. some things are best left unheard. this will get easier with time she said. and shes walking away with my heart. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:21891 2004-03-20T15:25:19Z 2004-03-20T15:25:19Z well.. my band broke up as you may or may not know. we had a slot set aside for us to record, but due to personal conflicts within the band we are deciding wether or not we are going to record. in the even that it doesnt happen, im preparing material to record myself. this is the first song that i have put music and my lyrics to in this fashion. its slow, accoustic and awesome. enjoy.<br /><br /><br /><br />tired of the seems inside<br />tired of what i seem to find<br />a way out of this life<br />a way to figure out who we are<br /><br />running out of places<br />to find a way to find our way<br />tired of finding out<br />who you are<br /><br />im running out of (break)time<br />to find out (break) just who you (break)are<br /><br />one more wasted night<br />to sit alone by your side<br />and try to figure out<br />just who you are<br /><br />tired of the war we play<br />hoping to wash away<br />i need to figure out<br />what we have become<br /><br /><br />im running out of time<br />to find out just who you are. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:21742 2004-03-08T23:16:11Z 2004-03-08T23:16:11Z life is nothing short of a tradgedy anyway<br />such as giving birth to aborted children<br />not that it matters much to me<br />christ it hurts<br />im having a one night stand with a hole in the sky<br />and its fucking me blind<br />a love affair lacking a lover<br />im consuming her tonight<br />in three peices<br />lust, hatred and glory<br />dare you call this our own? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:21264 2004-03-07T16:28:47Z 2004-03-07T16:28:47Z im having a one night stand with your piece of mind <br />and its fucking me blind urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:21052 2004-03-06T18:06:17Z 2004-03-06T18:06:17Z beneath the tide<br />the wind will no longer carry her scent<br />matten hair will no longer fill her eyes<br />it was this night that it was possible that her voice ceased to be heard from the shore<br />for i am the liar amongst amongst a thousand men<br />slowly the sun began to boil away the sea<br />air fills her lungs with my name<br />for what have i done to cause this pain<br />answer me softly<br />i have lost the will to carry on my seraph urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:20823 2004-02-19T01:47:01Z 2004-02-19T01:47:01Z ive struggled along to make it here today <br />where it seems like miles through the rain<br />to the places where the water won't wash away<br />the imperfections that set you apart<br />all the ways, you're wrong in every way <br />the doors we've broken we might as well still walk through<br />its better to meet on my end then in the middle<br />i can bend until you break<br />but im giving it all to you<br /><br /><br />and by the way id sell the world to you<br />day by day, just to say, id give it away<br />just to stay, and have the world with you<br /><br /><br />In the end, its a lesson we've learned<br />again and again, its nothing new<br />we've set it apart time after time<br />again and again, id give it all for you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:20488 2004-02-17T05:42:21Z 2004-02-17T05:42:21Z im not judging this competition anymore<br /> i seriously want to give up on life<br /> walking around dead end streets<br /> doesnt mean you avoid the heart of this town<br /> with arms in the air<br /> where all we got are reasons to go home again<br /> this time im tired of giving up<br /> all i need is a friend<br /> i cant pretend im not alone anymore<br /> it feels like everything that's mine is rented<br /> and i dont have the time to pay the bills<br /> they say ive growing up to do<br /> im just going to stay the same<br /> and if i never get to end this story<br /> blame it on the words<br /> im tounge tied tonight urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:20227 2004-02-16T05:35:54Z 2004-02-16T05:35:54Z run your mouth as if i give a fuck what you have to say, as if what we had meant anything to me. i wish not to make another memory with you there by my side.. by my side. broken hearts, broken dreams... broken face, broken teeth urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:20093 2004-02-10T17:56:53Z 2004-02-10T17:56:53Z lanterns made of eyelids and cracked skin<br />shed light onto shotgun barrels aimed toward the sky<br />from across the room you can see thoughts forming<br />thinking of you, so beautiful<br />a lovely epitaph to a hole in the air<br />in searching for heaven <br />we find fireworks as enlightment<br />she's beautiful like dying children in hospital beds<br />crying in your arms<br />this is a raping in oncoming traffic<br />predictible and bland<br />the sky is leaking too many angels in a horror film urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:19799 2004-02-07T06:37:01Z 2004-02-07T06:37:01Z lanterns made of eyelids and cracked skin<br />shed light onto shotgun barrels aimed toward the sky<br />from across the room you can see thoughts forming<br />thinking of you, its so beautiful<br />a lovely epitaph to a hole in the ceiling<br />in searching for heaven <br />hell now has a name<br />and she's beautiful like dying children crying in your arms<br />a raping in oncoming traffic<br />predictible and bland<br />the sky is leaking too many angels in a horror film urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:19508 2004-01-31T18:21:34Z 2004-01-31T18:21:34Z kill the bright lights<br />and live life down here in the dark<br />so beautiful on top of the world without a soul to tell you wrong<br />knife across your throat <br />perfect cries for attention ignored<br />love your away around me<br />sex appeal heals broken hearts<br />the entire world is in your hands<br />and it will take everything you have to take me down with you<br />these days are better left uncounted<br />deception better left unheard<br />manufacture love and buy his affection<br />this is the death of everything<br />youve let me down one too many times<br />this is the death of mankind<br />this is the death of everyone<br />she loves me<br />she loves me not.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:19391 2004-01-27T06:13:30Z 2004-01-27T06:13:30Z all i see in love i find in taxodermy<br />cold, bitter, bloody nights without movement<br />there is no love in the epitome of life<br />its face resembles an empty house<br />so loud yet bare, exposing the floor where the clocks lay broken<br />showing time apart<br />love may be a game i hope never to play<br />every practice i have, i seemingly fail<br />if her tears had tide<br />id give my feet and hope to drown<br />love is everything we were warned about<br />this love<br />it will kill us all urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:19095 2004-01-24T22:28:19Z 2004-01-24T22:28:19Z if i could fall in love again it would be with you<br />here amongst the dead<br />would you be here tommorow if i told you today was a misconseption<br />and we're all just living life day by day?<br />i like the way you look in my eyes when you say my name<br />and how your hands never touch my throat<br />if time would allow last night to never end<br />the sun may never rise again<br />the earth may fall asleep and never break this winter<br />the snow spills your secrets urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:18828 2004-01-21T18:34:48Z 2004-01-21T18:34:48Z hello beautiful..<br />how have you been<br />i can tell the ropes have done a number on your lips<br />for this memory give me one last chance to say i never meant a word i said<br />maybe tommorow you can fall in love again beneath the sun amongst clouds<br />you dont exist<br />i caress her neck <br />as her chest opens exposing fate<br />in a search for love urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:18677 2004-01-17T07:19:33Z 2004-01-17T07:19:33Z these walls scream at night they burn holes in my eyes<br />the wonderer sat alone to discuss to himself the past two years gone by<br />and began to think to himself that this all could have been different had he wanted it to be<br />ever so slowly the man began to thrive and feast on twenty four months of love encasing his chest<br />clouds of smoke encircled his eye mapping out the stars imbedded within his hands<br />"she was everything to me.. not simply a facade, everything that i could hold in my hands and <br /> say id love forever"<br />incisions of small hearts litter her legs where his hands would lie as they fell asleep<br />they're love smells of the grass she wears in her hair<br />handprints on the door tell of everytime she swore she was alone<br />light flickers across her face and highlights the handwork across her mouth<br />tonight memory is continuing to decieve all that we know exists<br />she will die.. and together we bask in the morning's silence urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:18359 2004-01-13T03:31:12Z 2004-01-13T03:31:12Z i whisper suicide into your ears with the softest of grace<br />Razor blades drawn on the back of your eyes now you finally see the picture<br />There was a time when you were perfect and i was nothing <br />now everything is over and we both have died<br />There will be nothing left for us tommorow<br />nothing left but your life on the floor<br />No one loves you no one can love a ghost<br />Whisping away with a misten cloud of aspiritous gas, a warm breath on a cool night<br />carries you<br /> away.<br />Forever lasts until the sun sets in our world now<br />forever is as long as you open your eyes.<br />nothing is forever.<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />ill never distrust you again lied the serpent<br />through the grasses of human hands<br />Breathing into the wind of smoke she cried "ill never leave you"<br />the wind stopped that summer day and the Earth stood still<br />everything that ever was and ever was to be fell to the floor<br />The day she breathes the wind from her tounge be the day that the rain falls in seperate<br />colors<br />its three twenty one and the air is warm now in this desolate place<br />Absence carries heat into a barren window<br />Fortified by lungs the heart beats out melodies of disgust<br />you broke my dreams and now they play in reverse, stalling on the part where you say<br />your name<br />tommorow will be a new day speaks the liar of many tounges<br />how can i remember tommorow when i havent forgotten today?<br />How can this stop without a gun in your mouth?<br />the storm settles over the casting grey sky leading to your doorstep<br />Tears mistaken for rain drops shatter his face<br />Dying he falls to his knees with broken flowers<br />With a single stab i drop you to your knees<br />with the blink of an eye i kiss you goodnight<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />A black wreath is wrapping round my chest Rain falls to the ground Calling back the<br />clouds A dusken freezing wind whispers through the trees Amber leaves of death fall to<br />the ever green earth Chilling the whispers... Greif breathes down my neck again The sky<br />parts to the open night Crawling upon yesterday Sliver of moon marks the somber sky Its<br />raining acrid rivers Staring into an open deep Wilted flowers and dying life Decrepid signs<br />of what is to come Opaque drops so heavy Offerings from a broken sky Whisking past the<br />iron gates So cold the mist rises upon my hand Standing in the shadows Among the ivy,<br />within the life The grey sky cries its tears of life Crisply walking upon the entangled yard<br />Illuding the light, the moon burns ahead To and unto forever i walk hand in hand with the<br />kiss of death hot on my neck Past the eternal grounds shattered with an eery silence<br />Beautious venomous reminders of the daylight Sobbing silently among the orchids the<br />drops pool into my hand Seeing myself in a new light The blood trickles down my cheek<br />This everlasting sorrow in my breast Laughs from far across the mountian filter through<br />the plants Distant screams ever close The chilling darkness enclouds the closed path<br />Return is futile, mapped in terror Rain falls to the groun A calling in the clouds Drawing<br />ever near Hearts clenched in torment abandon the new day Climbing so softly into the<br />night What is it now What has been done Strangulation of the moon's child Infatuation<br />with demise Engulfed with fearing darkness ears abandon their listening Gleem into my<br />eyes.... <br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Seclusion Cold overthrown with darkness Eternal rest swiftly grazes through sleep Frost<br />covered dawn Moistened ground so loud on impeding feet Desire curtianed sunlight<br />bathes the stones with fertility Ever frigid slumber claims dew drippen breath Light<br />reflecting off the soaken blades of grass Into oblivion we stare within the morning field<br />Dying rains heed whispers of the winds By the power of death Crippling creation's mistake<br />with the cleansing of stars Mist rises ever so silently from the soft warm ground Footprints<br />imbedded to the path of sorrow so fresh with the tears of night Cold air brings fear to my<br />back, trembling throughout my spine Twisting, the clouds sliver the dim sun through your<br />window Reviving, beauty's life long commitment hand to hand with death Eternal<br />slumber's freezing forever The kiss of solitude sends the ivy ever so creeping, cross the<br />neck ever so softly Choking, so slowly in the time so lapsed Memory's fragrance heightens<br />in the morning's mist Pedals of life so lost strewn upon an open hand lying deep in the<br />courtyard Spirit suffering, soul set afire by the ravenous dawn Carving into the cold grey<br />sky Love so beautifly as i raise my arms to the Northern sky in search of the eclipsing<br />abyss Night gazes, staring into my soul Shattered touch of darkness screams fate into my<br />eyes Broken down apocolyptic peircing dawn through the night Never to be waken love<br />dies in its sleep Awaken to dream called life Disappear... Conceal in unison lifetime and<br />sorrow The mist flows within out through the window Whisked away warranted by<br />eternity Maiden misery rests quietly Ever so bitterly the wind rushes through the air<br />Sending us away once again to darkness Nevermore to divide Solemn seclusion to<br />darkness. <br /><br />NOTE... these are old and i have no clue when they were originally composed urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:18155 2004-01-13T03:29:44Z 2004-01-13T03:29:44Z Dear beautiful<br />its in your blood that i can finally write your name, together we watch a motionless picture in<br /> the sky<br />tonight a widowers heart will fall asleep to the serenade of children outside his window<br />from time to time i glance at the pictures from the funeral<br />this feels like im writing nothing at all<br />i used to think of sitting in the patch of trees next to your house and count every star <br /> discontinued to vision until i fall asleep<br />allow me to caress the cuts into your arms and be the voice seperating your eyes from sleep<br />everything youve bought for me is in the bag i threw in your face, i have what i think i deserve<br />i hope one day you read this and it breaks your heart<br />postcards from the past say i loved you<br />i now reside encased inside my thoughts<br />you were everything i though i had, turns out i had nothing at all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:17897 2004-01-13T03:28:31Z 2004-01-13T03:28:31Z trust me lonesome ill spill your grace for everyone<br />our meeting smells like a loaded gun, they're all dead<br />and dear lover ive left my home with the clothes on my back<br />we're the children who've never learned how to dream, we're pretending that breathless romance<br /> isnt really alive<br />honey you're everything i wasnt supposed to know about and now if they end the world im staying<br /> here forever<br />at the end fo this letter you can throw me away, your arms look like arows and my heart of apple<br /> grew too fast<br />turn me away from the picture im not allowed to see the end, and the love scenes are all too <br /> realistic to be perfect<br />maybe its your stature that makes the light touch the floor, so watch your step<br />when my fingers snap fall in love youll find yourself losing your never we've got to kill the <br /> morning after<br />Operator let me hear you say that this is going to work<br />is this passion, i have no lover and these hospital walls help us pray for death<br />sleepless days mending a warrior's weapon on the ground<br />we're thinking too much, not feeling enough<br />and ill gouge out my eyes to create a solitude where all i see is you and i feel you watching but <br /> i know they wont take they're eyes off this one<br />take your seats we're about to begin<br />put your love back in the heartless, ill be here choking, come save my days urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dear_everything:17549 2004-01-13T03:27:38Z 2004-01-13T03:27:38Z tonight im coming out and these feelings that are so wrong are so right, get over it<br />we're all lonesome and falling down feels so out of touch <br />the greatest love stories started off bland and resembling things taht take too lnog<br />dont stand by and wait while im figuring out who i am<br />Im sorry that its this way at all, teach me how to swim up the river<br />there's 345 ways to fall in love, drown me to the next song<br />her charasmatic entrance, it will kill us all<br />savor this time we have to think about wether or not its safe to fall in love with a wanderer<br />im begging you please dont disappear, not tonight, you should learn more about this fire<br />everyone's attire smells of gasoline and the sandpaper kiss sets this tounge of matches ablaze<br />the last breath silences your silohuette, burn with me baby.. your cold shoulder could cause<br /> a god damned breakdown